HAIL DUBYUS!

An Illustrated Guide to Mendacity and Folly in the Imperium Americanum

Bad Headache

Posted on | November 26, 2003 |

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Bad headache again–and I even knew what I was going to draw! Before going back to bed, I will leave a note concerning the continuing cast of characters *grin*.

According to scientists, who are sometimes people of limited imagination, the grey squirrel has a rather large territory in the wild, but loses its territoriality in populated areas. They do not realize that the grey squirrel has adopted and adapted to our own urban structure and is using it to support a higher standard of squirrel living, based upon the ready availability of shelled peanuts and 24-hour convenience stores. If they ever catch on to the concept of “CAR”, we’re in trouble.

Nonetheless, given this symbiotic relationship with the human world (we supply them with nuts, they supply us with…more squirrels), it comes as no surprise that the largest single concentration of squirrels in North America resides in Lafayette Park, across the street from the White House, where they mug innocent, and not-so-innocent, civil servants for their daily tribute (they really prefer pecans).

Despite their problem with the squishability factor of automotive transport, they HAVE, nevertheless, caught on to the concept of CABLE TV. With secret nanotechnology pilfered from the boys at Reston, they have taken cable television into their own avaricious little hearts and are particularly fascinated with 24 hour news channels–possibly due to their small brain size and low attention span–the squirrels’, not the news shows (I think). They have even created their own uplink from Lafayette Park, where they maintain their own network and can report on the important squirrel news of the day. Interspersed between squirrel births, deaths, squishings and long and frankly boring, to me, dissertations on the volatility of the nut market, they DO comment upon what is going on across the street in the big white drey the humans live in, although their schedule is completely chaotic, constantly being interrupted by chase scenes and occasional instances of mating right on camera. It is from these commentaries on the White House that I select my own addition to the cartoon. :-)

Be back tomorrow with more scurrilosity…

Gregorius alexandrinus, pictor mendacrium stultorumque

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