HAIL DUBYUS!

An Illustrated Guide to Mendacity and Folly in the Imperium Americanum

You Heard It First Here–NUTCASE!

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(Wash Post) The Stupid Things People Said About Karr

That about says it all. The whole thing was marked by stupidity, stupidity in Thailand, in Boulder, and especially on the 24-hour all JonBenet fests on cable news, aptly satirized by Rob Corddry hiding out in the airliner toilet. Yes, wouldn’t it have been good to finally put this terrible incident to its final rest, to give some peace to that family? The Boulder DA literally HAD to check out Karr, if for no other reason than he was a fugitive who’d broken parole AND had confessed to the murder. But 12 days of constant bombardment with John Mark Karr just went to the toilet? I mean, come on, even his ex-wife said he couldn’t have done it and when you’re a kiddie porn addict and your ex actually provides you with an alibi, you know someone’s a few donuts shy of a dozen.

Our government isn’t the only thing that’s broken around here these days, our news media is running neck and neck with it. Keep the yahoos entertained and they won’t question what’s really going on in the world. We’ve done Orwell one better. In 1984 (and remember 1984 was just a number the protagonist Winston Smith picked at random and had nothing to do with the actual date of 1984–Orwell needed a date close enough to be scary and back in the 1940s when he wrote the book, if he’d used a date in the 21st century, it would have been brushed off as mere science fiction–our attitudes towards science fiction have changed a lot also in the last 70 years), the Ministry of Truth spouted propaganda and more propaganda. OUR Ministries of Fairness and Balance provide entertainment as well. All Sensationalism, All the Time! Citizen Hearst would be proud of his legacy.

Oh well, August IS a slow month. We got a good start on the Hail Dubyus! book we’ve been planning during the last few weeks of easing off on our normal schedule. We’ll be publishing the last of our retrospectives this Friday and then will take Monday off for the Labor Day holiday and then it’s back to our normal schedule for Wednesday and Friday of next week. Welcome back to school, kiddies 🙂

Oh, and welcome to the newest member of our backyard wildlife habitat–a ground hog with a taste for peanuts and sunflower seeds LOL.

Sorry, There’s Nothing In The Archives About JonBenet Ramsey

2006-08-18-boob_baby_terrorist.jpgNow I KNOW that the most important news story in the world at the moment is whether or not this nutcase who seems to have been in Alabama at the time of the JonBenet Ramsey killing had astrally projected himself to Boulder Colorado in order to accidentally kill her with a garrot, having drugged her without any drugs being discovered in the autopsy (oh yeah, his name in John Mark Karr and he’s been living in a Bangkok bang shop for the last two months, with the media adding the salacious detail that many CHILDREN are brought there by pedophiles, something I’m sure is so rare in Bangkok to be worthy of note), but given my lack, I think that perhaps this entry from 2005 is a bit more to the point of our continuing obsession with making the skies safe by inconveniencing all innocent travelers (You don’t think this will happen in first-class do you? terrrists don’t put out for first-class seating). Now you can’t bring on liquids. Of course, flying dehydrates people so they absolutely need to continually be drinking SOMETHING (everything EXCEPT alcohol which dehydrates you further, but some people are still so scared of flying that the only way they can get through the ordeal is by getting stinkin’ stiff, and they sure ain’t being helped by Homeland Security), but if they don’t serve drinks on a particular flight, I guess you’re just S-O-L. No shave cream, no perfume, no nothing in carry-on luggage, no MP3 players which can be used to detonate your Gatorade, so if you want to bring these things, it’s baggage roulette for ya–will my luggage be there when I am or will it take a sidetrip to San Francisco? When did we become so scared silly? Yeah I know, 9/11 changed EVERYTHING, but seriously, what with warning labels on everything, nothing remotely fun available for children lest it be swallowed or otherwise too dangerous for parents too busy to read age suitability statements. I mean seriously, “Liquid contained inside may be hot” on coffee cups? Are we going to wind up protecting ourselves so much we wind up wrapped in cocoons. Anyway, another of our August 3rd Anniversary Retrospective. Have a Good Weekend Folks!