HAIL DUBYUS!

An Illustrated Guide to Mendacity and Folly in the Imperium Americanum

Meep Meep!

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(AP) Bush strikes back at Dems on security “Maneuvering for election-year advantage, President Bush is striking back at Democrats who have trumpeted government findings that the Iraq war has helped recruit more terrorists, saying the opposition party is one of ‘obstruction and endless second-guessing.'”

(Reuters) Democrats want to “cut and run” from Iraq, Bush says

(AP) White House refuses to release full NIE “The White House refused Wednesday to release the rest of a secret intelligence assessment that depicts a growing terrorist threat, as the Bush administration tried to quell election-season criticism that its anti-terror policies are seriously off track.”

Yup, it’s true, if Wile E. Coyote cuts and runs, he’ll never catch Road Runner. But… he’ll never catch Road Runner if he “stays the course.” All he’ll get for trying is falls off cliffs and self-immolations and explosions. Complex situations like Iraq very RARELY have an either-or solution and if it is naive of anyone to believe anything about Iraq (President Bush on Tuesday said it is naive and a mistake to think that the war with Iraq has worsened terrorism), it is naive to believe that staying the course or cutting and running are the only two options. WE BROKE IRAQ. We have the obligation to get it back on its feet. But instead of doing anything real, like getting the electricity working, we frittered away our honeymoon period trying to create a stock market and other secondary items. Hell, even the police academy we built for them is dookie–literally “It was intended to showcase U.S. rebuilding efforts in Iraq, but instead Baghdad’s new police academy was declared a health hazard by U.S. inspectors who found human waste dripping from the ceilings.” Our continued presence there does little but increase the terrorist threat because we are doing nothing right. Right now, the best thing we could probably do is remove our troops instantly and dump the money we’d spend on them on the Iraqi government and let them figure out how to spend it. Even if they took half of it home with them, they couldn’t waste it worse than we are right now.

Boinking Off Into The Sunset…Whatsamatter? Don’t You Feel You’ve Been Boinked The Last Six Years?

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(USA TODAY)Bush: Enemies are ‘evil,’ but not insane

(MercuryNews) Faulting the White House is similar to appeasing Nazis, Rumsfeld says

Oh, yes, we are gearing up for the November election, all right, gotta make sure the populace is good and scared. More if you’re not with us, you’re against us, let’s make believe that we’re fighting the Nazis and anyone who thinks we’re wrong is like Neville Chamberlain. In the meantime, we’re playing by Herman Goering’s playbook.

UPDATE: Little did I know that Our Beloved Bush was going to go on and on in this mode for several days running…even Republican polls must be showing them in danger of losing either the House or the Senate. Our madcap Big Brother acknowledged our illegal “black prisons” (secret torture gardens in remote, non-U.S. countries to avoid scrutiny and looking as guilty as sin) by bringing 14 prisoners to Gitmo (gee, what an improvement) (AP) Bush acknowledges secret CIA prisons and now wants to “amend” the War Crimes Act to specify exactly WHAT kind of torture is illegal so we can freely practice any OTHER kind of torture we have a mind to (AFP) US wants to amend law barring degrading treatment of detainees, since the so-called vagueness of the ban against torture and degrading and humiliating treatment is deemed, in that horrible locution of CorporateSpeak, unacceptable. (WashPost) War Crimes Act Changes Would Reduce Threat Of Prosecution. Geoffrey Corn, former US Army legal expert, told the Post that Common Article 3 was, according to its written history, “left deliberately vague because efforts to define it would invariably lead to wrongdoers identifying ‘exceptions,’ and because the meaning was plain — treat people like humans and not animals or objects.” Which is exactly what the intent of the amendment is…

Hey, You Wanna Be Safe From EVERYTHING, DONTCHA?.

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Don’t worry, they probably won’t make us travel naked–they’ll undoubtedly give us pocketless “Security Suits” while our real clothes travel to Johannesburg with the rest of our luggage. But at least we’ll be totally safe…

(CBC) Muslim doctor wants apology from U.S. airline

(CLS Press Release) Coalition for Luggage Security Focuses on London Flight Diversion that Triggers Airline Fear

(AFP) Authorities ‘convinced’ airline plot was real: Home Secretary Reid

Yanno, every time we hear about these terror threats, we find out that someone had infiltrated the group…I’m beginning to wonder if the infiltrators are the ones who are pushing the idea of attacking and THEN taking credit for breaking up the plot that they themselves suggested…

(TheRegister) Mass murder in the skies: was the plot feasible? Looks like the whole thing was one big joke–I mean seriously, how many people have concentrated hydrogen peroxide and sulfuric acid in their kitchens? The standard H2O2 concentration sold in drugstores is 3%…so much for common household items. Then “Once the plane is over the ocean, very discreetly bring all of your gear into the toilet. You might need to make several trips to avoid drawing attention. Once your kit is in place, put a beaker containing the peroxide/acetone mixture into the ice water bath (Champagne bucket), and start adding the acid, drop by drop, while stirring constantly. Watch the reaction temperature carefully. The mixture will heat, and if it gets too hot, you’ll end up with a weak explosive. In fact, if it gets really hot, you’ll get a premature explosion possibly sufficient to kill you, but probably no one else.
“After a few hours – assuming, by some miracle, that the fumes haven’t overcome you or alerted passengers or the flight crew to your activities – you’ll have a quantity of TATP with which to carry out your mission. Now all you need to do is dry it for an hour or two…While it’s true that a slapdash concoction will explode, it’s unlikely to do more than blow out a few windows. At best, an infidel or two might be killed by the blast, and one or two others by flying debris as the cabin suddenly depressurizes, but that’s about all you’re likely to manage under the most favorable conditions possible.” In other words, a serious threat only in the movies, not in reality land. But hey, we’re not interested in reality, just in scaring people…