HAIL DUBYUS!

An Illustrated Guide to Mendacity and Folly in the Imperium Americanum

Won’t That Make You Feel Your Kids Are Safer? Just One Question: Who’s Gonna Protect Them From The Teachers?

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(AP) Wis. lawmaker urges arming teachers

(AFP) Wisconsin lawmaker wants to give teachers guns

Now, HOW many teachers have we heard about coercing their students into sexual relationships in the last few years? And this guy wants to arm them? Yunno, something’s got to be seriously WRONG with our system if anyone even THINKS this is a reasonable solution. Of course, given my inbred Eastern European paranoia, this COULD be just a ploy to get our children used to all authority figures packing heat…but considering that two of the three last school shooting incidents involved outsiders coming in, wouldn’t it be SANER to suggest posting a cop at the entrance to each school and having them sign strangers in and out and calling teachers/admin staff to announce their arrival? Yeah, glorified rent-a-cops but much better with actual officers who would actually be empowered to arrest anyone who creates a disturbance and who knows when and WHEN NOT to pull that lethal weapon…

In the meantime, the House Republicans who sat on the news of Foley’s Folly are now going through the motions of an investigation, not to get anywhere BEFORE Nov. 7. We’re also wondering when Foley will name the priest who allegedly molested him as a teenager…when, as Jon Stewart said, he finds a dead priest with no living relatives to sue him…

NEXT WEEK IS NATIONAL SQUIRREL WEEK! As well as the best birthday holiday in the US. We WILL be publishing on the Monday holiday, but taking the FRIDAY off next week so we can celebrate the on the 12th…

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Drunk? Gay? Abused? Nobody Knew? Everybody Knew? What Will We Find Out Tomorrow?

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Yahoo Congress coverage

(ABC News) The Lurid instant messages :)

Quite frankly, Mark Foley’s misdeeds are the least of the problems here. Yeah, grooming an underage page for sexual contact is pretty bad, but Foley might be telling the truth and had no intention of any sexual relationship until the kid was legal. It doesn’t matter that it was a boy instead of a girl. We find out that Foley is an alcoholic, gay, oooooo he’s Catholic, he must have been abused, but he’s no pedophile. The worst thing I see about this is the hypocrisy that’s swirling around the whole thing. Foley was the deputy whip and chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children. Seems everybody and their brother–as long as they were Republican–knew about the emails and IMs LAST YEAR, but it was swept under the rug. The Washington Post reports today that the FBI knew about them in July but had not done anything about them. The Republicans claim a smear campaign by the Democrats, claim they didn’t bring it public so it wouldn’t be gay-bashing, or because the parents didn’t want it to be brought forwards or because neither Hastert nor Boehner could decide whose responsibility it was. Tony Snow tried to equate it to Clinton-Lewinsky, despite the fact that Lewinsky was, in the words of the old saying, “free, white and 21.”

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