HAIL DUBYUS!

An Illustrated Guide to Mendacity and Folly in the Imperium Americanum

Congratulations, Barack Obama

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A few last minute chores at the Bush White House

A few last minute chores at the Bush White House

The end is finally in sight for the Bush administration. One of the first things that is going to have to be done when Obama takes office is to find out just what the hell were in all those signing statements. And what kind of executive orders is Cheney is going to induce Georgie to write. Barack has his work cut out for him. The Treasury has been drained, we’re practically owned by China, we’ve got two ongoing wars, New Orleans is still a disaster and the economy has tanked. Helluva job, Georgie. You wonder if he realizes just what he has done. Personally, I don’t think he can imagine it. GWB probably thinks he’d have gone down as one of the great Presidents in history if it weren’t for all those disasters which “nobody” could have planned for, without realizing that his tax cuts, his wars, his gutting of FEMA, all contributed to our being unable to recover from disaster. George’s career has consisted of disastrous leadership of an oil company, screwing up a baseball team, and almost single-handedly wrecking America. All his life, he’s taken a dump in the middle of the floor and walked away smiling, leaving his mess for someone else to clean up. That kind of behavior is tolerable in a one-year old. George Bush is our national one-year old.
But let’s not dwell on that. In spite of all the lies and distortions that John McCain and Sarah Palin resorted to in the last weeks of the campaign, America has finally lived up to its promise and elected a black man as President. It’s time to celebrate.

NOTE: As Tuesday is a national holiday, we won’t be updating that day. Nonetheless, an issue has come to our attention that we wish to ummmm *crunch crunch crunch on a Twix* blog about as soon as possible. Any hotties true believers want to join us in our struggle?–Fred’n'Bert

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Yes, Virginia, there IS just one Election Day…

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The old Two Election Day trick

The old Two Election Day trick

After all the hoohah in 2000 about deciding the election THAT DAY, Republican dirty trick operators think they can still get away with the old two-election day dodge. This goes back to Jim Crow politics where black people were told that white people voted on Tuesday and blacks could vote on Wednesday, but it became more PC by dividing it between Republicans and Democrats instead of whites and blacks. But it shows you who they’re trying to catch, doesn’t it? Yup, it’s true–the fliers were circulated in my home state of Virginia: (AFP) ‘Dirty tricks’ escalate as US election nears. As the article states, “These practices commonly target minorities — who this year overwhelmingly support Barack Obama — and while most states prohibit making false statements regarding elections, the laws are difficult to enforce.” Who knows who actually circulated those fliers? you can be sure there’s no direct link to the RNC. Nor will anyone catch who printed up those press-apply “s” stickers to be applied over the b in Obama so that yard signs would read “Osama-Biden.” It’s all about voter suppression, specifically, voters for Obama. The cry of “Voter Fraud” is shouted from the rooftops–and Fox News–to cover up their own misdeeds. The Republican party has run one of the dirtiest, sleaziest campaigns in the last 60 years–and it might not stop there. See BlackboxVoting.org for what might happen as the votes are actually counted.

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McCain and Palin, Just a Couple of Mavericks? Umm humm, sure.

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Bret and Bart discuss McCain's misappropriation of their name.

Bret and Bart discuss McCain

John McCain has been calling himself a maverick for I don’t know how long. Given the tightness of the Republican Party to act as one, disagreeing with them once in a while might constitute you as a maverick in their eyes. John thinks he bucked Bush over and over–yet as Barack Obama pointed out, over and over was only 10% of the time. McCain says HE stands for change. After all, how many times didn’t Obama vote with his party. But Obama isn’t promising to be a maverick–he promises change–and if McCain hasn’t noticed, McCain’s own party controlled Congress for 6 of the last 8 years. Although they’ve lost the House, they hold onto enough of the Senate to play spoiler for every Democratic sponsored bill, making THIS Congress have one of the worst “do nothing” ratings, not because they have tried to do anything, but because the Republicans have ensured that nothing will get done. Now as to the maverickness of Sarah Palin, I think she’s confused unbranded cattle with wild bulls seeing red at every corner. With wild abandon, Obama has become in her speeches: a terrorist, a Moslem, a hater of the United States, a Socialist…everything but beating his wife and skewering innocent babes when in his cups. Given the reactions of the mob she’s preaching to, those last would probably make them like him more. America just won’t be the same, said the attendees of one of her rallies to the Daily Show. Well, hell, haven’t they noticed how different it’s been since the usurpation of George Bush? How this last disaster in the economy is just the last straw on the bonfire of his policies? Maverick, as portrayed by James Garner (and his brother by Jack Kelly), never sought out trouble. He didn’t run wild, he sort of ambled, minding his own business when trouble would find HIM. Yes, he went his own way, but that way wasn’t as a pugnacious rule-breaking cadet, an unruly fighter pilot whose refusal to follow orders got himself shot down, not as a senator who votes no when it looks good, not as a demagogue stirring up a mob. No, a maverick lives by his own code and sticks with it when the going gets tough because it’s the only way he can live. And yes, I know the Mavericks didn’t cheat, but they cheated each OTHER all the time. It was only fair, they were brothers :) They are a stand-in here for the REAL Maverick family of Texas…you know, the descendants of THE Sam Maverick who didn’t brand cattle? They seem to be none too pleased about John McCain right now: Rob Kaiser column: Maverick cringes at political take on family name. Oh and we’ve been working so hard on trying to get this site “Google friendly” that Fred’n'Bert took the night off to actually get some sleep in the dark :)

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