HAIL DUBYUS!

An Illustrated Guide to Mendacity and Folly in the Imperium Americanum

Bob Novak, Accident

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I wrote this past column before the news came out that Bob Novak was ill with a brain tumor. There is a good possibility that the brain tumor was contributory to the accident because one of the neurologists said that you should be tested for brain tumor if you have an accident and don’t realize it. I think that one could hit something and not notice, but well, it does seem hard to notice that a homeless person was splayed across your windshield, but who knows? Nevertheless, Bob is ill and should have the benefit of the doubt. Consequently, I’m deleting my cartoon and most of the column and wish Bob a speedy recovery.

So, once again, news columnist Bob Novak is himself in the news. No, he didn’t commit treason this time, no secret agents were outed on the orders of Darth Cheney. This time, he ran into a pedestrian and then calmly drove off. The pedestrian was splayed across the hood of his Corvette, but Bob kept driving until a bicyclist stopped him and said, “HEY MAN, you just hit someone.”

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Why’s Bob Novak In The Dress? Well, We All Know He’s SOMEBODY’S Bitch

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(Fox Brit Hume) Interview with Robert Novak

(Wash Post) Novak Says He Named 3 Sources in Leak Case

(WashPost) Vice President Sued by Plame And Husband: Ex-CIA Officer Alleges Leak Of Her Name Was Retaliatory

Well, this isn’t gonna go far…We’ll see a move to quash based on the fact that the VP shouldn’t be sued “during wartime” to distinguish the motion from the reason why Bill Clinton could be sued. They’ll delay any proceedings by appeals up the chain of courts until they finally hit the Bush appointee who makes it go away. As long as no one was under oath, they can’t be hit with perjury charges, the only form of lying Republicans admit is wrong…when someone ELSE does it. Bob Novak is still portraying himself as the heroic defender of First Amendment rights while he is the lowest sycophant to crawl in a newsroom. The least he could’ve done was given a colorful codename to his stoolie. As Jon Stewart pointed out, no Deep Throat for Mr. Combover…

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Just Who We Need, The Guy Who Headed The Illegal Wiretap Surveillance Op

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(AP) Rumsfeld backs Hayden, denies “power grab”

(TheNation) Hastert Trashes Hayden

(HuffingtonPost) Gen. Michael Hayden: Unreasonable Nominee for Probable Cause

OK, we know the drill…the answer is that Hayden is NOT Bush’s real choice for CIA Director. Like Harriet Myers, he’s the decoy. Everyone gets to jump up and down, saying what a stupid choice Hayden is, Bush stomps around saying he’s the best, most qualified man for the job (Kudos to Jon Stewart and the Daily Show team by catching Bush using the exact same words to describe Hayden that he used to describe Porter Goss less than 2 years ago) and eventually Hayden removes himself from the nomination. Bush names someone only slightly less controversial, everyone breathes a sigh of relief and confirms him (you don’t think it’ll be a HER, do you?) without a second thought…

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