An Illustrated Guide to Mendacity and Folly in the Imperium Americanum

TSA! TSA! Keeping our skies safe for democracy


(AP) Woman says TSA forced piercings removal
Now who’s gonna keep up safe from TSA? The last time she checked, Mandi Hamlin said, “a nipple was not a dangerous weapon.” Hey, stealing my best line. BUT remember Janet Jackson? Corrupting all the youth in America as well as ruining the Super Bowl for their dads (guffaw, snicker) by her “wardrobe malfunction” as Justin Timberlake so delicately described it? True, that nipple was not a weapon of mass destruction, it was just a weapon of mass distraction! It spread terror in the hearts of all right-thinking Americans that their living rooms could be invaded by gangs of marauding tatas at any given moment, and all we had to defend ourselves with was the FCC. Now, the TSA has taken it upon itself to defend us against airborne mamillary attacks and I say, Good for you! Maybe you’ll take the same care to defend us against Prince Alberts and Dydoes!