An Illustrated Guide to Mendacity and Folly in the Imperium Americanum

And in other penis news, they are stealing them in the Congo…again.

2008-04-25-cancer_preventio.jpgFOXNEWS.COM HOME–HEALTH
Study: Masturbation May Prevent Prostate Cancer

Well, well, well, not only does it not make you blind, but it’s good for you. Yet, I seem to remember hearing about this a while back. I guess it takes several years for anything factual to get to PoxSpews because according to US News And World Report science columnist Ben Harder the findings were actually reported in 2003 and confirmed in 2004. Maybe in a few years, we’ll find out from Fox that there were no WMDs in Iraq…

As for my other penis news, Reuters–Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital, it seems sorcerors have been shaking down marks by threatening to magically steal their hoohahs. If they don’t get paid, they do the mumbo-jumbo and OMIGOD my penis is shrinking. Sometimes the mark thinks it disappears entirely. To quote the article: “…when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it’s become tiny or that they’ve become impotent. To that I tell them, ‘How do you know if you haven’t gone home and tried it’,” he said.” Maybe we can import some of those sorcerers over here. There’s a few big pricks running around the government and business that badly need downsizing…